Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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