Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
