Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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