Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
