2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Everyone says I win the strip club
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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