I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
