I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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