VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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