We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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