I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
