how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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