just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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