Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
