Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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