your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
