I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
