Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize