i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize