My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
