Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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