How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
