i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
