I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Im part way to drunk.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
