If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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