alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
