just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
