Who did Billy Mays play for?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
