Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
