i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So much rum. So many feels.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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