I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
