How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
is wine microwaveable?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
