I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize