ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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