I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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