he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
