you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
