some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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