Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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