Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
