It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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