It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
