I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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