I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
