Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Terrible idea I love it
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
