Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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