i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize