Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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