put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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