I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
