You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
