I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
