just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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