I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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