This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
