Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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