home. puking in laundry basket.
do herpes really smell.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize