I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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