Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
