Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
