Sry I called you an 8
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
