yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
