??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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